Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Antoinette + The Insecurities

The Insecurities was a project I began after 'The Trials' was released. 

As a chronological tale detailing my very own emotional, social and mental trials, I realised that if I could aid by building some form of a platform for other individuals to reveal their own trials and release their own demons, then the basis of mere human connection could be established. 

We are not as isolated in our thoughts and tribulations as we are told to believe.

Here are the submissions and with all my love, they are truly fucking amazing.
It is penned from social observation that we critique ourselves.
And thus take's great courage to defy the social convention.

It is through this, we realise, that we are but diamonds in a circle peg.

She is one of the rarest gems this world has to offer.

The emotive perspective over societies need to attribute the physical to 'hate-speak'.

Fat? Is this the worst thing a person can be?
Is this the worst crime an individual can commit?
And truly, in terms of this photo, she is no such thing!

So why the insult? Why the psychological damage?

Sharon is P R I D E. 
And she found herself by being brave.
And with this courage, she could say - I am part of the LGBTQA.

Ante - Soul-Dier Identity. 
When at war, are we granted distinction?
When amongst the rat race, are we but a mere face?

How is it that such hate can be so socially acceptable?
And continues to breed self-loathing?

You are beautiful, amazing, wonderful and brave.
You are a good hearted soul-dier.
Who was left broken at the toll.

Truth is, you're only as ugly as the war you're in.
And you're only as ugly as your heart of gold.
Understand my contradiction? That is societies "logic".

Because truth is, you're not ugly at all.

Appearance - A continuous flux of candy-uppers. 

Because any name, idea and creation can be applicable to an appearance.
Though no personality can be attributed to an appearance.
For I have found some of the ugliest individuals are conventionally "beautiful".

And in my ad-hominem way, I say they can suck my glorious strap-on.

Feelings of loneliness, emptiness and isolation?
Cannot possibly be depression - you must be an emo.

Because social stereotype is a simple answer to a complex situation.

I drank a bottle of faux love to experience the poison of it.

Hide from yourself lest you become the monster.
Face yourself and defeat it.

Yes, you can. I have absolute faith.

Living off substances to provide a wholesome identity.
Because those I loved, seem to give up on me.

Why is it that if someone self-harms, it' is considered "attention seeking"?

No, you don't question how it is that someone can draw blood from their own skin as a form of escape. God forbid, you question anything of value - no, you consider it "attention seeking" and tear the individual further to shreds. 

What I cannot understand is that society dictates that when one is happy, we can openly profess our happiness until we burst our shrivelled up hearts and yet, when one is depressed, low and suicidal, they have to remain quiet. We all know the conclusion to this story and now even that ending has been further glamorised as 'they only care when you're dead'. 

Achieving fame through suicide is not the road to glitter and gold.

Annie does not live the easiest life.

For her golden heart, her sense of equality and connection - I love her, completely.
You're the soul-dier looking from the outside into the cluster-fuck storm and everyone else exists within the eye of it. That is how you live within logic and reason that does not contradict evidence. However, with everyone twisting evidence towards themselves, it's difficult to feel sane in a mad world.

Josh is the epitome of wonder.

Truthfully, how is it a brilliant individual, a fucking class example of what this planet has to offer, is given all these names that do not even attribute any form of truth to the person he is and no one really questions it? 

Let me tell you, Dawson - there are far too many people who dwell in the gutter and claw at us to join them. There are people who eat our hearts to feel whole. I would enjoy putting any of these people on Jeremy Kyle because that is home to them. We're far higher than any of the scum who believe they have a genuine say because trust me, even after high school, they remain anonymous.

Why are we never enough when we were born as everything we have to offer?

Colours, shapes and stripes vs. conformity and loss of identity

Due to anti-depressants and such, I put on a bit of weight during early March 2012. I was definitely not comfortable with this but it was a catalyst to the penultimate question  - "Why?" 

What was wrong with the way I looked? Was the core of hate all courtesy to the fact I had an added layer of curves? Or was it truly due to social criteria? Or perhaps, I merely felt cut off from love. Did I deserve to feel a sense of self-loathing because I had gained a few kilos within the comfort of my own panic ridden and agoraphobic residing demon?

And to you, dear reader. If you have an answer to any of the questions above, in reference to any of the posts, you are more than welcome to share your perspective. If you have anything to say, if you want contribute by detailing your own trial or insecurities - please do so.

As I have always said, you are not alone. 

Also, each submission has a link to the individual who created it.

And with all my love,