'THE TRIALS' And King's Men

Sent sixty-two copies of my independently released debut album 'The Trials' (with two posters per envelope) around the world and these lovely people posted a photo to the 'Antoinette + The King's Men' facebook page to let me know they had received it.

And thus my heart had an explosion.

ANTE 

You absolute and complete babe! I cannot believe how close we have become since you had sent this photo in! Forever shall we keep on with the 'MIAOW'. Pursue music; keep scribing lyrics and composing. You have a talent and this flame ought to become a bonfire. With your great sense of perspective, emotional acknowledgement and courage to convey the fine details, you can make others open their eyes. This is a gift. 

LEIA

Remember when we first began talking back in 2010? And then when we first met last summer? How long ago does it all feel - like a dream-state. Now you're falling into your identity with such poise and courage. I salute you, sweetheart! And your hair is the bomb-diggity!

Leia is of 'Leia And The Broken Dolls' - boldly linked to her official tumblr. 

And do view her official fashion tumblr as well!

JOSH

You are one of the most unique of individuals I have ever been blessed to get to know. It hurts me that somewhere out there, people cannot acknowledge the utter brilliance in you. You have a heart of a soldier and a mind of gold. You are loved and deserving of love and I want you to know that one day, it is going to be us and the King's Men having tea in a gorgeous cafe in London! Where you are is somewhere you will not forever be - remember that. I know the reality of it is a living hell now but myself and others will see you through. Never hesitate to converse or call.

SOPHIE 

Sophie is the heart of social defiance and the core of wonder. She is crazy beautiful and I adore her for everything she stands for. Truly, she is a Duchess and royalty in her own right. I love you, dear!

LAURIEN

First off, she is phenomenal. Absolutely fucking phenomenal. It appears someone has not treated her the way she ought to be treated - like a fucking Queen. I adore this girl and though we do not converse a lot, I do know she has a heart that hearts crave for and that she is the pinnacle of what most of us wish to rise to. I love you, darling!

SPARKY SIMON

SPARK! This boy is the most adorable, wonderful, brilliant of individuals and I honestly wish I could eloquently state my vast love for him but I have to say, I just want to have tea with you and discuss pop music to the universe or nothing. You are a fucking rarity and your smile is contagious as all hell. I am so blessed to know you, love!

Also, Sparky pens music reviews like a pro - THE SONIC REVERIE

He even reviewed some of the first few tracks I had released, which you can see HERE

And an interview with A+TKM HERE

MARILENA

Style, grace, poise and a heart of gold. This girl was one of the first few to become a Duchess (King's Man) and the support has not shifted since. For all your love, support, courage and brilliance - thank you!

THERESA

Theresa, I have to openly state this - I do not know what I would do without you. You're innovative, beautiful, completely brilliant and such a rarity. When I first started A+TKM up, I was in a very terrifying place in my life and you were one of the more prominent individuals who gave me such courage. For everything you have done and for all the love, I do not even know how to thank you but until I can give you a hug, a thank you will have to suffice. 

Theresa also started up the 'FuckYeahAntoinetteAndTheKingsMen' tumblr, do see it!

CATHY

This girl is my rock. She is the little sister I never had. She is family to me and I swear, anyone who hurts her will genuinely have to answer to me. She may not always have self-belief and she may not always consider herself highly but I am always here to reiterate that she is fucking perfect. Perfection does not derive from the lack of imperfections, as an 'imperfection' is any aspect of one's self that doesn't fit into social convention. Cathy, you are beautiful, intelligent, kind and courageous. You have a brutally honest tongue like mine and for that, sometimes we're viewed as being the raging monster but in truth, everyone with a silver tongue will lie themselves into a grave. 

I love you, babe. Never be afraid of the individual you are. 

VANESSA

"I'm not ready to live a loveless life on the wrong side of paradise"

Love is a rarity and with that notion, we must grasp it when we find it. You are beautiful, kind and you have what many people lack - perspective. You question, enquire, pull apart and strip away the details. You are a philosopher by heart and I know reality is difficult right now, I know it's not being easy on you and that you are greatly undeserving of what you are going through. One day, we will all be in a cafe, drinking tea or sipping at soda's and we will remember the trials that got us there. 

For every battle won, there are scars to remind us that we are still here.

EMILY

When everything went to hell, you offered me a place to stay. When all went down-hill, you comforted me. Life has not been easy on you and you have to remember that courage is not the absence of fear. Seeking aid is not a sign of weakness but rather the courage to know that you can make a change. Moulding, growing and progressing is always the most terrifying aspect of growing-up. Perhaps why Peter Pan was so adamantly against it. I am proud of you, Emily. You are absolutely fucking golden and one day, I will see you! Until then, keep shining like the royal you are!

NICO

Nico is one the oldest of King's Men. He's been around right from the start and has been passionate about the project ever since. He has an amazing mind, full of ideas and notions that should be penned down for the world to see. I will support you thoroughly with that! Thank you for everything, love and remember - sometimes we need to be swallowed up by the darkness to appreciate the stars. For anything going on in your life, for any crimed being committed against you, remember - these are your battles and you have your soldiers. We won't let you fight alone.

TEE

This girl is my ginger and I fucking love her. We have been friends since we were tiny-ass crazy mother-fuckers and I have memories of sliding down bannisters with foam swords to slay dragons. If I could attribute any form of brilliance in my personality now, it is down to Tee. Now, she's in Norway but she does visit every now and then. Her spontaneity, sheer generosity, compassion and infinite love makes her a gem in a world full of manure. 

Look at her, she has drawn a moustache on herself!

Also, we record pod-casts together entitled 'Trapped In A Voice Box', if you ever want to listen...

ANNIE

Artemis, let me tell you, you're beautiful. Repeat that in the mirror. You're beautiful, wonderful, compassionate and even though your home life is not as it should be, even though there are people in your life who do not treat you with the respect and dignity you fucking deserve, I will tell you right now that I love you and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. At all. Like all my lovely Duchesses, you're a gem. You're a rarity and it sickens me that people in your life do not reiterate this to you every moment they get. You are loved and deserving of love. Always.

GRACE

My first Hong Kong Duchess (King's Man) with insane taste in music, art and style. Underneath that is a girl who is absolutely brilliant and one day, we need to meet for coffee! Also, loving the red lipstick. Very Moulin Rouge!

I love you all, always and forever!

Antoinette

Antoinette + The Insecurities

The Insecurities was a project I began after 'The Trials' was released. 

As a chronological tale detailing my very own emotional, social and mental trials, I realised that if I could aid by building some form of a platform for other individuals to reveal their own trials and release their own demons, then the basis of mere human connection could be established. 

We are not as isolated in our thoughts and tribulations as we are told to believe.

Here are the submissions and with all my love, they are truly fucking amazing.

It is penned from social observation that we critique ourselves.

And thus take's great courage to defy the social convention.

It is through this, we realise, that we are but diamonds in a circle peg.

This is Cathy Mad-As-A-March-Hare-dox. 

She is one of the rarest gems this world has to offer.

Theresa Babe

The emotive perspective over societies need to attribute the physical to 'hate-speak'.

Fat? Is this the worst thing a person can be?

Is this the worst crime an individual can commit?

And truly, in terms of this photo, she is no such thing!

So why the insult? Why the psychological damage?

Sharon is P R I D E. 

And she found herself by being brave.

And with this courage, she could say - I am part of the LGBTQA.

Ante - Soul-Dier Identity. 

When at war, are we granted distinction?

When amongst the rat race, are we but a mere face?

How is it that such hate can be so socially acceptable?

And continues to breed self-loathing?

You are beautiful, amazing, wonderful and brave.

You are a good hearted soul-dier.

Who was left broken at the toll.

Truth is, you're only as ugly as the war you're in.

And you're only as ugly as your heart of gold.

Understand my contradiction? That is societies "logic".

Because truth is, you're not ugly at all.

Appearance - A continuous flux of candy-uppers. 

Because any name, idea and creation can be applicable to an appearance.

Though no personality can be attributed to an appearance.

For I have found some of the ugliest individuals are conventionally "beautiful".

And in my ad-hominem way, I say they can suck my glorious strap-on.

Feelings of loneliness, emptiness and isolation?

Cannot possibly be depression - you must be an emo.

Because social stereotype is a simple answer to a complex situation.

I drank a bottle of faux love to experience the poison of it.

Hide from yourself lest you become the monster.

Face yourself and defeat it.

Yes, you can. I have absolute faith.

Living off substances to provide a wholesome identity.

Because those I loved, seem to give up on me.

Why is it that if someone self-harms, it' is considered "attention seeking"?

No, you don't question how it is that someone can draw blood from their own skin as a form of escape. God forbid, you question anything of value - no, you consider it "attention seeking" and tear the individual further to shreds. 

What I cannot understand is that society dictates that when one is happy, we can openly profess our happiness until we burst our shrivelled up hearts and yet, when one is depressed, low and suicidal, they have to remain quiet. We all know the conclusion to this story and now even that ending has been further glamorised as 'they only care when you're dead'. 

Achieving fame through suicide is not the road to glitter and gold.

Annie does not live the easiest life.

For her golden heart, her sense of equality and connection - I love her, completely.

You're the soul-dier looking from the outside into the cluster-fuck storm and everyone else exists within the eye of it. That is how you live within logic and reason that does not contradict evidence. However, with everyone twisting evidence towards themselves, it's difficult to feel sane in a mad world.

Josh is the epitome of wonder.

Truthfully, how is it a brilliant individual, a fucking class example of what this planet has to offer, is given all these names that do not even attribute any form of truth to the person he is and no one really questions it? 

Let me tell you, Dawson - there are far too many people who dwell in the gutter and claw at us to join them. There are people who eat our hearts to feel whole. I would enjoy putting any of these people on Jeremy Kyle because that is home to them. We're far higher than any of the scum who believe they have a genuine say because trust me, even after high school, they remain anonymous.

Why are we never enough when we were born as everything we have to offer?

Colours, shapes and stripes vs. conformity and loss of identity

Due to anti-depressants and such, I put on a bit of weight during early March 2012. I was definitely not comfortable with this but it was a catalyst to the penultimate question  - "Why?" 

What was wrong with the way I looked? Was the core of hate all courtesy to the fact I had an added layer of curves? Or was it truly due to social criteria? Or perhaps, I merely felt cut off from love. Did I deserve to feel a sense of self-loathing because I had gained a few kilos within the comfort of my own panic ridden and agoraphobic residing demon?

And to you, dear reader. If you have an answer to any of the questions above, in reference to any of the posts, you are more than welcome to share your perspective. If you have anything to say, if you want contribute by detailing your own trial or insecurities - please do so.

As I have always said, you are not alone. 

Also, each submission has a link to the individual who created it.

And with all my love,

Antoinette

Time Capsule III - Progression Of Antoinette

Truthfully, Antoinette was born December 16th 1992. 

For the amount of stick I have had over Antoinette, I could attempt to pour faux-honey over my tongue and state the entirety of this as simple make-belief, created as a coping mechanism to the perpetual madness. However, the truth is far less complicated - I am Antoinette. 

She and I hold no distinction only that she lives by another name and really, should a change in name truly dictate identity? It may have begun as an outlet to to erase fear and commit myself to a life of brutal honesty; to tear through subjects that many do not consider 'socially acceptable'. Some accused it as an excuse to glamorize pills and to harper on about having bipolar disorder. 

Honestly? I merely displayed more of the canvas that colours my identity - a lot more than I had initially done so before. No individual ought to be dictated as a 'pick and choose' when it comes to their individual make-up because every particular grain floods a desert and no grain holds symmetrical perfection. Within everyone of us is an oasis, you only need to accept ones demons to discover it.

HONG KONG, SUMMER 2011

Antoinette et Olivié

First Day - Claim to Name

First Day - Olivié Pacman

Beginning of History

Summer 2011

Red + White (Dolls of Delight) 

 Started Lyrica to quieten the mind.

I began dressing as a canvas; donning madness.

And it was twenty-seven degrees (Celsius).

Panic Attacks - Ensue scrape around for connection.

Notes Of A Transgender - Samuel Rossiter

Notes Of A Bipolar - Antoinette Kings

LONDON 2011

Goodbye Sadness, Hello London

And hello, Antoinette

Bipolar H I G H - Meeting Peter in Soho

Fidget - Cat of my dreams

Heart To Heart - Fighting crippling emptiness

Bear Hug In A Mug - Manchester

Antoinette - Depressed, empty and going insane. 

Last day in London.

HONG KONG, DECEMBER 2011

Antoinette in her popnographic glory.

I no longer felt human but the personification of art.

Last days as a partial brunette 

Composing instrumental to Elephant + The Spoon

I DRANK PEROXIDE AND IT SPROUTED GOLDEN LOCKS

Denim Dreams

Elephant + The Spoon

FAUX-REAL FASHION AND TEA COMPOSITION

Shout-out to Panda-San

Shout-out to Ryn, my Sherlock

FIRST PROMO SHOTS FOR 'ANTOINETTE + THE KING'S MEN'

"Handing hearts like hands to hold, fiddling with pieces of solid gold..."

Ronjia's Career

"A high that is slowly landing"

N I N E T E E N

Picnic in the park - Samuel

Celebrating nineteenth with Angry Bird Head

And Samuel with kites, of course

"IT'S ME, I'M CATHY, I'VE COME HOME..."

ANTOINETTE + THE KING'S MEN, JANUARY 2012

JANUARY 4TH 2012

Antoinette appears in 'The Sonic Reverie' - Introducing 'Antoinette + The Kings Men'

'THE TRIALS' PROMO-SHOOT

23RD JANUARY 

'FUCK YEAH ANTOINETTE AND THE KING'S MEN' TUMBLR

IS CREATED BY THERESA

THAILAND, LATE JANUARY 2012

Henna tattoo for my King's Men

Kham Noi - Elephant Sans Spoon

FEBRUARY 2012 

UNAPOLOGETICALLY POP!  FEBRUARY 8TH 2012

ANTOINETTE + THE KING'S MEN 'MIAOW OR NEVER' FEATURED

03 MARCH 2012 - 'THE TRIALS' IS RELEASED

The Trials 

The chronological tale detailing the highs and lows of bipolarity.

Facing societies discrimination in terms of 'mental illness' and 'abnormality'.

I sent out sixty-two (signed) physical copies world-wide.

And over one-hundred downloads on BandCamp.

Let me tell you, I thought not a single soul would listen but then to have people write back and say that this album has aided them to accept themselves or has given them the confidence to reach out - that makes my heart amplify. For every bit of love, courage and brilliance, I thank you. 

All the King's Men.

KING'S MEN ART

Lyrics from 'Miaow Or Never' - Cathy

X'S + O'S - Cathy

Quoted from a vid-chat with King's Men

Cathy 'I Am Legend' Maddox!

'The Trials' get's a hit of sonic LSD

Black And White - Kaiya

 Disney Make-Over - Kevin

One Doll, Two Doll and Elephant + The Spoon 

Theresa makes cut-out Antoinette's! I think they're massively dope.

MARCH 2012

MARCH 26TH - UNAPOLOGETICALLY POP!

'ANTOINETTE + THE KING'S MEN' MAKES A NAME WITH 'NO NAME'

AND TWO EP'S LATER...

Into Neverland - 30th of March 2012 

The Duchess - 9th of April 2012

UNAPOLOGETICALLY POP! - MARCH 26TH 2012 

ANTOINETTE + THE KING'S MEN IS FEATURED WITH 'NO NAME'

Celebratory tatoo with Pacman

 MAY 2012 - A HOSPITAL FOR SOULS

Shoot with Shuffle-Haus

MAY 22 2012

THE SONIC REVERIE - INTERVIEW WITH ANTOINETTE

JUNE 2012

Returning to the HIGH-way

And to Brunette with 'No Name'

Miss Teen Suicide

The Highs And O's

AUGUST 2012

Leading up to 'A Hospital For Souls' Release...

AUGUST 20TH

'INTERVIEW WITH 'ANTOINETTE + THE KING'S MEN' 

- Cathy Maddox

August 27th - Sophomore album 'A Hospital For Souls' is released.

A musical of sorts, detailing the story of one young girl who passes over, with no knowledge of her death, into a hospital. In there, she meets a variety of characters who aid her to piece together the mystery of her death - by taking her back to the day she had died.

AUGUST 28TH 2012 - 'A HOSPITAL FOR SOULS' REVIEW

- Cathy Maddox

SEPTEMBER 2012

Back to Blonde with a BANG(s)

SEPTEMBER - MID OCTOBER 2012

No home. No money. Dropping to forty kilo's. 

There are no photo's.

MID-OCTOBER ONWARDS

McLuster and Kitty Cat

Mexican Cat and Babe-alicious

OCTOBER 31ST

Crew, Pirate and Miss Polly Pure

NOVEMBER 2012 

Antoinette + The King's Men is advertised through-out the internet.

Below are a few screen-shots sent in by King's Men.

AND  NOW...?

 I guess this is why many can argue she's not healthy, she was born from complete madness. But within her, I found liberation, acceptance and love. Within her, I found the courage to speak openly about connection (and lack there-of). It is with her that I found you. 

Love Always,

Antoinette